WHY AM I EMBARRASSED WHEN I’M BUYING FEMININE PRODUCTS IT’S SO STUPID BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PERIODS EXIST AND THAT LADIES NEED SHIT TO TAKE CARE OF THAT MONSTROSITY YET EVERY TIME I HAVE TO BUY SOME I TRY TO COVER IT UP WITH OTHER STUFF OR PRETEND I’M HOLDING SOMETHING DIFFERENT LIKE I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WALK DOWN THE STORE AISLE WITH PRIDE LIKE “YEAH I FUCKING BLEED OUT OF MY HOO HA SO FUCKING WHAT YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN MOTHERFUCKER”
THIS. Fuck being embarrassed about normal shit.
i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early
YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
Today, Amazon announced the imminent launch of its newest endeavor, Kindle Worlds, a publishing platform for fanfiction. When I read the announcement, I was horrified, then angry, then sad. I want to take a moment to explain why this is such a tragedy.
“By using the platform, authors give all rights to the work to Amazon, who can then license your elements to other authors with no compensation to the original poster.”
Okay, no. This is what I hate. Fucking gender generalizations breed more gender generalizations, and a lot of those stereotypes turn out to be harmful, and discourage the idea that people are individuals with beautiful and unique strengths, flaws, and divergences from the norm.
When a woman is silent, she may be thinking of lots of things or nothing at all. When a man is silent, he may be thinking of lots of things or nothing at all. That is the truth. Not this.
For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.
No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morning’s live 3-D reenactment of “Invasion of AstroMonster.” This is what they’d say repeatedly:
“You know! Boys will be boys!”
“He’s just going through a phase!”
“He’s such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!”
“Oh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!”
“He. Just. Can’t. Help himself!”
I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”
She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.
It was so tempting.
He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.
Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.
His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.
Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.
I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.”
Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning. How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?
There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasn’t much fun for him, but he did not do it again.
There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You can’t make this stuff up.
Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when he’s older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, “No, I don’t want to. Stop. Leave.”
The “overarching attitudinal characteristic” of abusive men is entitlement
This is so brilliant. We learn things from socialization process. What our parents, friends and peers do, media and all. I think perhaps rape is because parents think boys will be boys, they bully, fight and destroy things, it’s their characteristics so they don’t bother to stop them. But it manifests in them, knowing or unknowingly, they will just think, because I’m a boy and boys tend to do these, so it doesn’t matter even if the girl hates it, says no, because I’m a boy.
Just reblog this, this message is really powerful. For parents and future parents.
Trou Normand - Happy Hannibal Thursday.
if someone’s happy doing their strange weird thing and they’re not hurting anybody then that’s really awesome and you should just let them be and maybe even be glad for them
so many people are scared shitless to show anybody what makes them happy or excited because there are so many people eager to point and laugh